Well the answer is simple- I have nothing much to say. I happened to review my older blogs which I have closed because I was unable to bear the shame of my younger self’s thoughts and opinions. What I saw from those dark years was how deeply everything affected me. From the Lokpal movement to developments in my personal life- I remain surprised at how naïve and how easily affected I was. I had a political stand, I was sensitive and I really did, for some unknown reason, give a care.
Where I am today- my political stand reads “undecided” and my personality trait reads “exhausted”. Where once the news struck a nerve, my nerves have become numb (quite literally too, thanks to a slip disc). I sought inspiration back in the day. Now I seek funny dog videos. Where once I felt stimulated enough to emote anger and passion, these days I only find it within my means to laugh at everything that once provoked my anger and disgust.
The news itself provokes little except a shrug. Who does one trust after all? I stopped watching news for information and instead saw the jingoistic legends (the plural refers to the man, the ego and the legend popularly known as the Holy Trinity) on screen as the inheritors of Ekta Kapoor’s questionable legacy involving mothers in law and daughters in law learning to empathise with each other through the seven or eight seasons of sheer agony. I find myself happier and contented ever since I withdrew from that nation which constantly “wanted to know”. I thought I will instead focus on myself. Who am I?
After much Jedi Training, I have begun to discover answers. For one- the jedi training taught me balance and I learnt it well. Therefore I decided to put these new skills to good use and become a professional fence sitter. But that then led to another problem. You see, while being on the right invited the ire of only the left and being on the left invited the ire of only the right, being a fence sitter has invited the ire of everybody. A simple post highlighting the goodness within both the right and the left, got a krav maga expert and a popular artist attacking me on both sides of the fence I was sitting on and my survival instinct couldn’t help but wonder if the only way out of it was to go up.
Eureka-therein I learnt my lesson. What the artists and the deadly martial artists of the world taught me is that I am an observer in a grand social experiment. Between the road rage on the roads and the ideological rage on the internet- threats get traded and words get exchanged, but very little action is taken. In this experiment, I saw democracy and all it could achieve- nothing. Therefore, my role perhaps is to be the housefly that simply buzzes around observing through its many eyes, nothing. Hence, the writers block and today, I find the cure.
This blog going forward is likely to be about nothing….. only because that has not been done before right.