Much Ado about Nothing

I think the statement applies very well to me. From time immemorial, I have perhaps over thought and over analysed things. Often times, statements bothered me immensely although the author of such statements remained perfectly oblivious to the impact of their words.

 

I think for the larger part of the 25 years I have been here, I too perhaps grappled with a misplaced sense of self importance. I have attached way too much weight to my own actions, thoughts and impact on people, more than what is necessary. It is also a byproduct of empathy to some extent, when I put myself in those of the other person in the receiving end and feel that I owed them a better side of me.

 

The lessons I have learnt are no less valuable. The weight we attached to the skepticism around us, is merely a reflection of our inherent self limiting beliefs. The challenge is not to counteract the skepticism outside, but the skepticism within. It is because the skeptics make you feel conscious of your self limiting beliefs, that we get so angry or stressed. It is not about what has happened or what someone says or does, but it is the perspective with which these external stimuli is viewed that matters. I can confidently say that almost a decade after some of the most hurtful episodes in my childhood, I am able to finally laugh at them. Better late than never.

 

Secondly, people are stronger and more capable than we give them credit for. While we are busy grappling with the guilt of perhaps doing wrong by them, they have gathered the courage and the self respect needed to move forward. Sometimes the ones we have put down, either intentionally or unintentionally, have gotten up faster than the speed with which our self esteem overcomes our guilt. But don’t be jealous or spiteful of their resilience. Rather, we need to respect them for that, because, one resilience is an intensely admirable trait. Two, they have also taught us to not take ourselves too seriously. After all none of us are that important to devastate others.

 

So here I am making much ado about the topic of much ado about nothing. Poor jokes apart, the best way to live life is one that recognizes realities and moves away from being part of the drama, to viewing it as an engaged audience member. The sooner one gets around to that, the better it is.

This post is part of my writing endeavour as a member of the loose blogger’s consortium. The other bloggers are as under. Give them a visit, they are bunch of hell raisers you wouldn’t want to miss 😉 RummusergaelikaaMaxi, and Shackman

Unwritten Social Agreements

Respond to a thank you with a “you are welcome”. If not, at least acknowledge the thank you. Say things like good morning and hello to those you have to interact with, be it the morning milk vendor or the attendant at the petrol bunk. For heaven’s sake, smile at those who you meet indicating some sort of pleasantry.

 

Courtesy is dead in the world I live in. Everybody and everything people do is taken for granted. There are such rare instances, when I find a motorist on the road acknowledging me when I give him way, or when I stop the car to let the pedestrians cross. I do what I do, notwithstanding this lack of courtesy or acknowledgement, because in my mind it is an absolute obligation I owe to my fellow individuals. Plus, with that little bit of pleasantness I show, I hope that the other person takes it forward and distributes it among the individuals he has to meet.

 

One of the things that stands out about my experience as a lawyer, is the wisdom and maturity its practitioners earn. No matter how aggressively we pursue our client’s cases, we remain respectful of each other. One of the rare privileges of being in practice, is that ever so rarely, we chance upon the rare breed of “Gentleman” attorney, one who is unwavering in his adherence to professional ethics, spirit of law and a basic sense of fairness. Some of my most pleasant experiences arguing cases in court, have been against such lawyers, not just for their sense of fairness but also because of the professional acumen which they bring to the table. Many times, such encounters make the difference between a dull day and an extraordinary day.

 

It is however proving to be rather challenging to impress upon the next generation of lawyers, that one ought to emulate such ideals rather than resorting to dirty underhanded tactics. Somehow, the lack of courtesy and “gentlemanly” behavior, has become fashionable, with those of us who still believe in it, being branded as outdated and obsolete dinosaurs. Quite as to what led to this evolution, I am yet to become aware of. I can’t get people to change, but perhaps we should all sign an unwritten agreement where we undertake to not perceive courtesy as a sign of weakness. Good day!

This post is part of my writing endeavour as a member of the loose blogger’s consortium. The other bloggers are as under. Give them a visit, they are bunch of hell raisers you wouldn’t want to miss 😉 RummusergaelikaaMaxi, and Shackman

Unclehood

On realising that my body had waged yet another war on me, I couldn’t sleep yesterday night. I confess I haven’t had a scare like the one I had in the past few days. I couldn’t help it as my mind strayed in the direction of worst case scenarios and I felt a fear unlike any till date. The fear came from one place and one place only, “What if I will never see my nieces grow up?”

 

I have changed diapers of my infant niece, behaved like a clown around her in an effort to make her laugh and rocked her to sleep. I have cried when I realised she was going to be leaving the country and then I found the wisdom to overcome my immaturity. I created a skype account and felt attachment to the point where I now know what “missing someone” feels like. In those chaotic emotions, I have felt more alive than I ever felt. In those moments, I have discovered something about myself I am immensely proud of, namely, the ability to love and nurture a child.

 

While that is the impact that left by my infant niece, my friend’s two daughters have also carved for themselves, a very special place in my thoughts. It feels so natural and so right for me to take them out and bring them the sweets they love so much. They have such incredibly positive aura about them that it allows me to revisit the happy moments from my own childhood. In them I see what I would like to see my niece as, when she grows up, namely happy girls with strong self confidence and self esteem.

 

As I reflect on the role of an uncle, I realized also that adults can prove extremely exhausting. Between gratuitous amount of unsolicited advise, imposing and intrusive actions, they can really prove to be pains in the backside. Their uncanny ability to undermine the wisdom, maturity and capabilities of those younger than them amuses me as much as it provokes my anger. With them, conversations usually center around careers, livelihoods and marriages. Although I walked a path I feel is mine, many things I have done is in alignment with following an adult’s advise of working extremely hard in an effort to make a name for myself along with money (I did this unconsciously of course). But if I were to use only those motivators, then I would have quit my job a long time back. It is because my love for my work came from a deeper place, that the hard work and demanding hours seem worth it.

 

Children are not burdened with these notions of “achievement”. They practice the art of being so astutely, until of course, the adults drive it out of their minds.  Why I love my nieces so much is because they are still in that phase of being. Be it Shivani or Kushi, my friend’s kids or Gowri, my brother’s kid, they have such exuberant smiles and a laughter contagious enough to remind us of the fulfilling nature of living. This remains the single biggest reason why I am so proud of them, because they are not trying to prove a point to anyone. They simply are and I hope to God they never give that up as they grow up, because thats the strongest asset any individual can have.

 

In their company I have discovered reasons to be proud of myself. In every one of their joys and in every symptom they exhibit of outdoing their previous generations, I have felt incredible happiness. The certainty that they will live lives far better than mine, inspires so much peace and comfort. It is perhaps one reason why i love the profession of teaching, because it involves nurturing individuals to be better than me. In these discoveries, I have felt myself selfless and that has allowed me to look into the mirror and breathe in pride. The fact that unlike most adults, I feel my kids have more to teach me (as demonstrated) above than I have to teach them, makes me feel particularly good about the original wisdom that has evolved within me. I owe this sense of self esteem to Unclehood and boy am I grateful or what 🙂

 

This post is part of my writing endeavour as a member of the loose blogger’s consortium. The other bloggers are as under. Give them a visit, they are bunch of hell raisers you wouldn’t want to miss 😉 RummusergaelikaaMaxi, and Shackman